Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Life was moving along and things were going well. My oldest son is a Senior in High School this year and I wasn't thinking about the changes that will be coming (maybe a few tears leaked out when I bought his school supplies for the last time but that doesn't count. Maybe a few more tears fell after his 1st football game of the year when I thought about how he only has 9 more games of his High School career left but that doesn't count either).

Last Friday night Erik got hurt towards the end of the third quarter. His knee was hyperextended when a helmet ran into it. We often joke about how Erik is made of rubber. He plays hard!! and in all his years of playing multiple sports he has never broken a bone or been seriously hurt (unlike his younger brother who has had multiple breaks). He, of course, wanted to go back in and play but Coach wouldn't let him and he couldn't walk. My husband was out of town because that's Murphy's Law. Football truly is a passion of my son and it just makes him happy to be out there playing so for him to not be able to play would be disappointing for him. My son is always the optimist and said he would be playing in the next game. Optimism is one of his best qualities. I, on the other hand, had a few doubts sneak in and had some worry in my mind as to whether his football season might be done.

The next day, Saturday, Erik had his Senior portraits scheduled. His knee hurt, was swollen, and he couldn't straighten it all the way out but we plugged on and went ahead to the appointment. My husband returned home in the afternoon and picked up some crutches on his way. So we said hi and bye; Steve took over kid duty of the other 5 (yay!) and I went with Erik. At some point during the session the photographer said, "Does this make you sad?" I said, "No. I love taking pictures, this is fun! This is a great time in Erik's life and I have enjoyed all of his ages and stages and I have five more kids coming up behind him". That planted a seed though and I pushed it to the back of my mind and did not want to think about being sad.

On Monday Erik was going to be going to camp which the High School does annually to start the year off. It was scheduled the 2nd week of school but was delayed this year due to a fire near the camp. Under normal circumstances Erik does his own packing but since he was on crutches I did the packing. We were in his room and he had his knee up with ice on it and was telling me what to pack. I went to get his sleeping bag off the shelf in the closet and remembered how last year the lining needed to be sewn back together and I thought " it only needs to last one more year to get Erik through high school". I thought about all the times he packed that sleeping bag....ecology camp in 6th grade, then the camps and trips during Junior High and then through High school.... and now here we are at the end of that journey. It went so fast. He will be leaving our home to go to college and then beyond possibly for his career and to start his own family because that is life. I was wishing that sleeping bag could talk and share all the memories but dried up the tears because I thought I was being silly and I knew my son would definitely think I was being rediculous. I went back to his room and tried to continue on with the packing but the tears were coming and there was no stopping them. You just never know what is going to set off the chain of thoughts or emotions to make you (me) cry. Even an old sleeping bag might be enough to do the trick. 

We got his MRI results today and it was good news! There is nothing wrong with Erik's knee that requires surgery. Hopefully physical therapy will return his range of motion and maybe in 2-3 weeks he will be back to playing. He has youth on his side and we are praying for a speedy recovery. I am looking forward to him returning from camp tomorrow and enjoying every minute of his Senior year.  

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